Is this what it feels like to fall in love?
I wonder, how can I know that to be true?
Often we remember love through memories of small acts or big; and yet when I think about you, I find myself thinking about neither, and yet both – I find myself thinking about the space we create.
I think about sitting in the park, sipping coffee and looking at the world crafting stories. In your presence, I see the world through a kaleidoscope; every building, every person, every object is colored in all the hues of the rainbow.
I think about walking in the rain, holding your arm for warmth and support; peeking from under the umbrella to see what the world has in store. In your presence, I find comfort and safety to explore the foreign without fear of loosing my way. In every stride, you are by my side.
I think about being wrapped into your arms, and the warmth of your embrace. In the presence of your hold, I find myself sleeping sounder, and in less pain. There is something magical about being in your arms, a security I can’t seem to find in any other place.
I think about how my thoughts race, and how I try to understand my fears. In your presence, I don’t have to explain, you know how to read the language that my soul speaks – and through your words I find myself navigating the terrain of all the thoughts I once only kept to myself.
I think about how you speak, how the emotions dance in your eyes, and reflect in your smile. As you narrate stories, I find myself painting a canvas to visualize your life. Your memories create the architecture, and your emotions choose the colors. I wonder what all will you share? What all will I find? I wonder what the canvas will look like as we go through time?
And now as I think about all that I feel, and all that I remember about the time that I spend with you, I begin to understand that I am both comfortable in your presence, and pleasantly surprised.
I feel the duality of existence, and live into that duality in every stride. I don’t know what to do with this calm anxiousness that floods my being – but I can say this: to all that comes next, I am willing.
I wish to learn about you & me,
I do not know what I will find,
Still I seek, because I am willing.
I am willing to learn more about you, and in the process more about me, regardless of how far that requires me to fall, or how high the climb takes me.
I am willing to push past my box of comfort, into the layers of my insecurity; I am willing to shine light on all that is me, and to help you do the same.
I am willing to allow you in to my heart, and into my life; I do not know how you will change me, nor will I ever be sure – but that isn’t the point.
The point is that I am willing.
I wonder are you?
And as we explore each other through conversations and gentle touches, I begin to wonder: is this what it feels like to fall in love?
And then I smile, because I no longer need to wonder,
I know it to be true.
I am falling in love with you.